What Happened In Vegas…

It’s just occurred to me that I never captured my trip to Vegas last March. Flying out of Bellingham, we were able to book our 3 night,4 days trip at the Paris for $450/pp, flight inclusive. This trip was entirely prompted by the wedding plans of a former colleague. I was set to watch them marry on the Sunday, but received news on the Wednesday that unfortunately one of them had been denied entry to the US. Yikes! Now, having watched a season of Border Security, I can only speculate upon the reasons that he or she was inadmissible. #lifehack: don’t plan a wedding if you’re not certain you can legally attend it yourself. While I was bummed to hear it, my itinerary was independent of the wedding party so the trip became a friendly event: myself, my boyfriend, gal friend, and two buddies.

Friday: As it turns out, the Bellingham airport is my number one pick for least cosmopolitan ‘international airport.’ Once we arrived we promptly got changed into our Fancy Holiday Clothes. For one of us, this included a top hat. The counter lady who checked us in was so chatty that after processing everything, she cocked her head to one side and said, “Now I’m pretty sure I checked your guys’ passports. Have a great holiday!” #HomelandInsecurity.  The pub at the gate seemed a perfectly appropriate place to commence a 3 night Vegas bender.

Saturday/Sunday: Things that happened in Vegas, that will stay in Vegas. 

Monday: “Get me out of this city. Get me out of this country.” “Do we really need to take a limo to the airport?”

Things Learned in Vegas

Things Not to Say in a Cab: we’ve departed the airport and queued for a taxi. Luggage stowed away and all passengers buckled in.

  • Friend: “This place is nuts! Who would ever actually live here?” Me: “Well the guy driving the cab is one…”
  • Cab Driver: “How many times have you been to Vegas?” Everyone: “It’s our first time!!!! Yeah!” Me: [HEAD SLAP] “Let’s not tell the taxi driver we’ve never been here before.” 20 minutes later we’re driving down the strip with a cab fare two times what it should be. 

Some Cabbies Tell the Truth: G & the boys were off to Old Vegas while my GF and I headed to the outlet malls. Of course we would both insist our taxi drivers taking the freeway, having learnt from the experience above.

Me: “So we need to come up with cover stories. You know, like how many times we’ve been here and how we gamble, blah blah blah.” GF: “Great idea. We should be as vague as possible.” We hailed a cab and clambered in. Me: “Please take the freeway to the north outlet malls.” Cab: “No problem.” Commences driving. “So have you ladies been here before?” Me: “Uh…yah.” Cab: “Great. How any times?”  Me: “Oh I dunno. A couple times.” Cab: “Hunh? When where you here last?” Me: “Little while ago.”  We were probably the weirdest patrons he had that day. Unsurprisingly he stopped trying to make conversation with us.

With great success, both parties reach their destinations without incident. However, when the guys head back, their driver is extremely reluctant to take the freeway back to the Strip purporting that there is a taxi strike and he’s on the wrong side of the picket line, so to speak. Not having any of it, G calls his bluff and they take off on his insisted route. Well if they didn’t end up smack in the middle of a convoy of  angry, honking, demonstrating taxi cabs. G promptly ceded to the pleading requests of the driver to detour off the freeway. 

Jubilee! at Bally’s was amazing! Breakfast at Bally’s was barely palatable. Go see the show. Hot tip: most Vegas brochures have a 2-for-1 coupon.

Early Saturday morning I had eyes only for a Big Mac. I persuaded my GF to duck into a McDonalds with me on the way back to the room. While we were waiting in line I was taken aback when two young men started a scuffle at the counter. Wow, wow, wow folks. I grabbed my GF and took refuge near the fountain soda machine.  Jeez! A couple minutes later I retrieved my burger from the counter, found a table and got to work on the burger. Eh, turns out the party of young guys at the table to our left were also Canadians. Meanwhile the two guys sitting at the table to our right were less than charming and proceeded to give us Fancy Gals a hard time. Seriously…just want to eat my burger…I rolled my eyes at the Canadians, to which they replied, “Is that guy bugging you?” Apparently I was strongly casting Help Me eyes because before I knew it, one of the Canadians clocked the guy. I”m talking ninja speed. I didn’t even see it go down. Frame 1: I’m looking with Help Me eyes. Frame 2: I’m looking at the jerk who was harassing me, but now he’s got a split lip. Frame 3: I look back at the Canadian table. Completely evacuated. Everyone fled. Frame 4: Jerk face is yelling, “I’m gonna sue you for that!” Frame 5: Burger. “I can not handle this place.” #RowdyMcdonalds

They weren’t kidding when they said girls drink for free in Vegas. 




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